I am home with the rabbits. Let them out in my bathroom to play for most of the day. I guess my place smells but it don’t matter because I have minimal sense of smell. And they had fun. They clunk their bowls and eat a lot.

I hot scratched too. Rather nastily due to my skin and bleeding disorder. I am a little unnerved about potential infection due to my predilection towards it after Sepsis.

My leg remains sore and I am growing weaker. Still taking the antibiotics and still with the sore patch on the sole of my foot.

But I don’t care. I am at home with the Rabbits. The Kids are camping at Platypus Flat and I am on FaceTime with Eden.

I have eaten and am drinking elderflower cordial.

I have printed a fill-in flyer. Not very good but Area is tomorrow  night and I need samples to take.  I have not left home today and I have slept most of it. I am still tired. I am going to post some more sepsis extracts tonight . They keep me sane and reduce feelings of aloneness and weirdness.



Many of you write of experiencing depression, cognitive issues and memory impairment during and following sepsis. What is your opinion about health care givers providing health information only to you and taking health care direction only from you during a time when you are experiencing diminished capability, mentally and emotionally? Do you think it is safe and appropriate that you be the sole recipient of information and the sole decision maker? Or do you think there should be a some sort of advocate for you involved in your care, as well?   CLAY.


My wife goes to all appointments. I do not go anywhere without her. Although I have not given up my license, I don’t drive without another driver in the car. I have gotten lost in my hometown.


My husband was my advocate. He asked questions, asked for time to make decisions (if it was possible), thought about what was best for me. When I was conscious but not quite there, anything they would tell me, they would call him and tell him, or call to set up times to discuss together. Even now he comes to all appointments, even though I am capable now of making decisions. He was the one who was aware of what I went through, not me, so it helps to have his input now.


Three years post sepsis shock and my husband still comes to my appointments even none health related ( banking, legal etc). Sometimes I just can’t understand what they are saying. He knows I want to understand and make my own decisions, so if possible he makes sure they give me the time I need.


I don’t have the cognitive issues, but when I was in the hospital, big decisions (blood transfusions, dialysis) were made by my husband when I was in a coma. My mother chose to stay with me day and night for the first 3 weeks, which was great, but once I was awake and no longer on a vent, she really didn’t let me speak for myself. She would tell the staff what she wanted done (bath, etc) but didn’t ask me what I wanted. My nursing staff listened to her, but then asked me directly what I wanted, which was fantastic – sometimes I didn’t feel like getting the whole sponge bath – a warm wipe down and gown change was enough. They let ME decide what I wanted to eat, etc. My point here is that an advocate is great, but don’t feel like you have to let them make ALL of your decisions for you. Life or death – yes if you’re not with it, but the other stuff include YOUR input about what YOU want.


I handled all ! myself! I even had my son drop me off at Hospital for second surgery! I was enough trouble with recovery and didn’t abuse anyone’s time!!


And I am coming into the losing time. Almost 4 years since he went for that run and never came home. How i miss his beautiful voice and gentle hands. How I miss the talking and travelling and the impeccable sense of safety I had with him. Melancholy.




For tonight – just a very old poem. Big John came and we nutted out more of our plans for October. Talked for hours. Rosie came and cleaned the house and planted plants for me. The Region PR for NA rang and they will come and give workshops.

Then Kaybee rang excited to tell me a koala was coming up the path. Its out the front now in a high tree.

I have the Rabbits for the weekend while my family go on their first ever big camping trip.

And Down south Poppy has had a CT scan for facial injuries when she hit her head on her drawers. She is with her father tonight and looks sore and sounds unwell – but nothing is fractured.

Bedtime for me and Woody and Nibbles.



Miss 5 came a’visiting today. ALL BY HERSELF. What a lovely time we had. Then along came a little black dog called Bella. Miss 5 is usually afraid of dogs but today – today we played with Bella for hours. Miss 5 brushed her and fed and watered her and threw balls for her.

My leg is still sore but I don’t care because I had a Visitor for the day and a little black dog.

Miss 5 just informed me that , from photos she has seen, the world used to be black and white.



Today I saw a doc to get a thing cut off from just under my right clavicle. It was an interesting experience, He also examined my leg. He thinks its cellulitis despite there not being a fluid build up this time and gave me an antibiotic suited to that. There was parking in town and I got the script filled and bought food from the iga. I surely am a lot better than I have been the last few years, A LOT. I used my disability parking sticker. Freddy at the Chemist spoke to me and I am a part of this community, It is a pleasant experience. Likewise the girls at the Docs. We chat.

I came home to have a lie down when a text came from Kaybee asking whether I could pick Miss 8 up from school. YES I CAN.

I did not think these days would ever come. Drove to school. Walked all the way up all the steps to her classroom. She was tickled pink. So was I.

We bought me a new mouse because my others conked out. Some liquorice bullets for her and her folks. Drove around a bit and she talked to me of many things.

These are the reasons I go on living.

The town is a mess as they continue “beautifying” but tonight it don’t matter.

I printed out some insolvency forms for one of my garland took them to her place for her. I spoke with and emailed Big John and Her re the NA weekend we are planning.


Glory be. Sore leg or not. GLORY BE.

I have globes and lamps now. This is the first time since 2014 that I have begun to stand on solid ground. It feels so good. Sometimes my mind heads off into worry, impermanence and fear but she doesn’t wander too far at the moment. I seem to be holding my ground. Thank God.  Building up bits and pieces like clothing and shoes and knickers and meetings. How hard these years have been !

The Kids are getting organised for a weekend camping trip. Much excitement.  I will be minding the Rabbits.

And here are my lamps. All is well in my world tonight.

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